i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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