I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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