in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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