Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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