Your face is a jimmy john
Soap is not a condiment
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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