sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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