are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
