I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
