i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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