I met the friendliest cop last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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