you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
