I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize