all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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