I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
