I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
