Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
