If i come over, it means nothing
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
