she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
