Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize