his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
