You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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