There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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