were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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