If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
