i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
