Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
