im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
