We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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