I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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