remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
