I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
we should paint friendship bongs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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