he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
