I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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