Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize