Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
