There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
