Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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