My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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