Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How naked do you want me to be?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
