i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
