You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
