i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
