i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
