That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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