fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
