Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
this hospital has no fireball
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
