My balls are so social today.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
