I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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