wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize