Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
