omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
