dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
