At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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