You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
