a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
soo... how was my night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
