I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
smell my finger.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
