Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
