Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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