I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
