im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
