hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
