i can't believe i had my finger in that
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
