Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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