Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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