this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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