so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
