you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
