But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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