Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
