I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize