flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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